


No Ifs Ands or Butts!

by KateThorne



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Human, Blow Jobs, Exes, F/M, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Mid-life Crisis, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-30
Updated: 2013-11-30
Packaged: 2018-01-03 02:08:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KateThorne/pseuds/KateThorne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel is getting divorced and feels like a complete cliche, especially when he gets hot under the sweat wicking collar for his much younger personal trainer, Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Ifs Ands or Butts!

Gabriel had never been the kind of person who did something he didn't want to do.

He had a job where he could delegate coffee runs and boring paperwork to the eager and earnest interns who were never too far from his office. He had an accountant to do his taxes and a lovely Honduran woman named Guadalupe who cleaned his house and folded his towels into the shapes of dogs when she was angling for a bonus.

Gabriel had an entire drawer of take out menus when he didn't want to cook and always had clean underwear. Gabriel didn't even have to sit through commercials thanks to his good fortune of being born in a time to enjoy Tivo.

It could be said that Gabriel didn't want for anything.

Unfortunately, the one thing there wasn't anyone to intercept were the the persistent calls from a new-agey yoga burn-out brother, which was directly responsible for the direction that Gabriel's reluctant feet trudge towards the gym.

Bless his heart, Castiel, the youngest of the five of them, never did well in all the things Gabriel excelled in.

While the oldest, Michael, was the jock star choir boy that all their teachers waxed sentimentally over after reading 'Milton' off of an attendance sheet. In a lovely sort of contrast, Michael's twin brother, Lucian, avoided being dwarfed in Michael's legacy by setting up home in the shadows his brother cast so magnificently. Lucian was always with a pack of Camels in his sleeve and the sort of devil-may-care attitude that made panties drop within a twenty foot radius of him. Even Raphael could be found at the head of every club and organizing every pep rally, graduating with higher grades than every Milton put together and speaking as Valedictorian at their graduation. Gabriel, for all he lacked in hand-eye coordination, smooth sex appeal and the attention span to study, was at least the one who said and did things that others wouldn't and there was value in that.

Castiel, the sweet little muffin, trailed along behind the four, the youngest and most doe-eyed of them all. His 'dazed and confused' attitude won him easy and unconditional affection. And, as much as he hated to admit it, the fact that Castiel was the least intimidating and successful of his siblings was the reason that Gabriel had started calling and running his mouth to his baby brother before the idea occurred to him to hire a therapist.

These sorts of lapses in judgement led to Castiel getting it into his head that Gabriel needed his help. And thus came the advice. Most of it came in the form of 'loving yourself' and while his brother did spare him a chorus of Kumbayah, he mentioned 'endorphins' and 'mind body connection' often enough.

And thus, Gabriel trudging up the steps to the gym, wishing that the half dozen stairs could count as a work-out in itself.

It wasn't easier when he was fully assaulted with the smell of sweat and rubber mats. Gyms were grey and dreary and always a little dirty, not cozy and cushy at all, which was sort of Gabriel's thing. Maybe he could just get the membership and put the card on his keyring, effectively buying Castiel's attention off of him, once and for all.

Because he was totally fine now. Calling Castiel was a moment of weakness, but he's fine now. Totally.

It was too early for it to be allowed, but the gym was bobbing with people on treadmills and ellipticals. All of them already annoyingly well toned and energetic.

Gabriel couldn't see the face of the man at the desk, only the top of his head as he was hunched over. Gabriel only hoped he was napping, and thus have found his only ally in this alternate universe of plastic and metal and running in place. The face peered up as he got closer, breaking into an bright smile as he reached the desk.

"Hi, there!" the guy said, and any hopes of this person being a sane individual went right out the window. No one was that perky before ten in the morning without voices in their head. "How can I help you today? Are you interested in a membership?"

"Yeah, I'm here to sign up... for gym...things."

"Fabulous!" the young man declared, as though nothing Gabriel could have possibly said might have made him happier. As though the happy coincidence of a person wanting to open a gym membership was the most unexpected surprise, here at his place of work. Gabriel read 'Sam' on his plastic name tag as the trainer straightened and started standing up. And up and up he went, lumbering a solid eight inches over Gabriel's _perfectly average_ height. Awesome. "Well, come on back to my office; we can go over class schedules, and personal training plans. I can give you a tour. We can look at the pool. Are you interested in any adult sports leagues? I have a list somewhere. You can sign up for email alerts and-"

Sam hadn't made it to his office door, a hundred feet away and only sounding halfway through his list before Gabriel was cursing the day his father didn't pull out and thus created that ever helpful little brother of his.

"So," Sam said, completely unaware that Gabriel had really only been tuning in and out of his monologue. "Where would you like to start?"

"I just wanted to get the membership and..."

"Ok, well, what are your fitness goals?"

Gabriel took a deep breath and steeled himself.

He'd never been a thin man, never a fit man, never even an overtly attractive man. High school was a very long time ago, the last time that he'd really given the silly little insecurities much thought. He'd graduated, stopped talking to everyone in his class, went to college and discovered new and exciting ways to hate himself that had everything to do with an inability to make up his mind and fear of failure.

But this, this beautiful, bronzed man just kept going and going, never running out of skin to look at.

If ever there were an actual, human example of male beauty, Sam was it. And he patiently asked Gabriel what his fitness goals were. As if he would ever look anything like Sam. As if it was even an option. Sam probably didn't know that, from his particular lips, it sounded more like a snide joke than a real question. Sam wasn't making fun of him, but Gabriel's initial reaction was one of defense.

"Don't have any, kiddo. Between you me and the stability ball, I'm just getting a membership to have a tiny little card to put on my keychain and shove it into my brother's face when he asks. I'm buying the membership, you can quit the sale pitch and we can both go along our merry way."

Sam looked at him, the bright vacant smile slowly slipping off his face. A tiny little furrow appeared between his brow, only for a moment, and Gabriel wondered if perhaps he used too many big words.

"Look, nothing personal, kiddo. I'm just not... the hamster in a wheel type. You'll get your commission. We can both leave happy here."

Sam was quiet for another moment before Gabriel started up again.

"Not that there's anything wrong with treadmills and stuff. It's just that I wouldn't fit in. I'd break things. I am very litigious when I'm sore. He just thought it would be something to cheer me up, because after twenty seven years my brother still has no idea who I am and what I like. He means well, but what works for him won't work for everyone, right? I just have different priorities than-"

Gabriel stopped because he realized he was babbling. Like a school girl. Apparently six minutes alone with bronzed-statue Sam sent him back in time to when he was sixteen and acne riddled, talking too fast and hoping he sounded smart so someone- _someone please_ -would take his virginity.

He was a thirty eight year old man, damn it. He had a corner office and a condo downtown. His acne had long since cleared up and he'd been laid enough times to know great sex from good sex. He wasn't an awkward teenager and he wasn't trying to get Sam to think he was cute. Friggen time warp freak show: Gabriel _knew_ gyms would be bad for him. He needed to get out of this place, like, yesterday.

"Than me?" Sam clarified. Raising one eyebrow. Hey, it had been a while since Gabriel had shoved his foot into his mouth. Nice to know that it still fit with ease. "You have different priorities than I do. Me, being the hamster on the wheel. Right?"

"I didn't mean to say that."

"But you did mean it. Right?"

"Look, kiddo-"

"With all due respect, _sir_." Sam interrupted and over pronounced the title. Gabriel winced. Ok, he totally deserved that. "I may be a hamster on a wheel, but you're the one willing to shell out fifty bucks a month for a piece of plastic so your brother leaves you alone. What exactly _are_ your priorities?"

Gabriel leaned back in his chair and let out a long exhale. He looked off to the side of Sam's desk focusing on the little scratches in the wood by the computer.

Sam cleared his throat and, reluctantly, Gabriel turned back to him.

"Lets just finish up this fitness profile, ok?"

Gabriel nodded.

"So, what would you say your fitness goals are?"

"C'mon, man."

"What? What, pray tell, makes this such a terribly difficult question for you?"

"Lose weight, just write down to lose weight."

"Is that what you want, or are you saying that to just get me off your back?"

"Yes."

Sam gave out a breath through his nose, making his nostrils flare right as he pulled his lips into a thin line creating the absolute bitchiest face Gabriel had ever seen in his life. It was such an ugly expression on such a beautiful face. It made Gabriel want to smile.

"Castiel would want me to lose weight. Yes. Put that down." Gabriel said, more kindly than he had before.

"How much weight would you like to lose?" Sam read off of the form. Gabriel held his hands out to his sides, opening his body up for Sam to be the judge of it.

Sam glanced at his midsection, his eyes ghosting over the spare tire that Gabriel had carried with him since college; too much pizza and too much beer. Sam let his eyes fall back onto Gabriel's, not giving anything away.

"Well, you tell me, Sammy. Thirty, forty pounds? What would I have to lose to look fuckable?"

Sam's ears turned a little pink but his face stayed expressionless.

"Is that a goal of yours? To be … fuckable?" Sam asked softly.

Oh, bad idea. Why did Gabriel have to say that? Men like Sam were too hot to even _fantasize_ about. Assuming that Sam even batted for Gabriel's team (and, albeit, Sam's long, pull-able hair and shirt just one shade tighter than macho burly uber-bro were sending some mixed signals) the odds of Sam being single and looking at Gabriel as something attractive were too high of stakes to set.

In high school, Gabriel didn't know any better than to fall and love with the head cheerleader and the point guard of the basketball team (at the same time, mind you, and that had been its own special brand of adolescent Hell.)

And so his heart was broken every time they waltzed right past him in the halls and didn't laugh at his jokes. Every time she made moon eyes at Michael over his head and every time that he bragged loudly in the locker room it was like a little piece of Gabriel died.

But he grew up. He grew out of it. Stopped wanting to fuck the people in magazines and the head cheerleaders and professional sports players because there was more than beautiful people and they would never look at him like that anyway and it was pointless and childish and only led to Gabriel feeling sad about himself. He was over it.

But Sam looking at him, Sam's lips forming the word... fuckable... like it was a delicious fruit he had forgotten the taste of. Gabriel was suddenly very aware of the emptiness of Sam's office and the size of Sam's hand and how close it was to his own, resting idly on the desk.

In an instant, Gabriel was sixteen and the point guard was sitting too close to him at lunch in the cafeteria.

"I can work with fuckable." Sam continued, after letting a silence, all heavy and warm, settle into the office. Gabriel's pulse raced; and he beat down his libido for hearing what it wanted to hear despite all logic and twenty years of expectation conditioning.

"You can't write that down, though." Gabriel said, happy that his voice, at least, still worked.

"I'll just write down that you want to tone up. You don't have much weight to lose."

Gabriel wasn't sure if that was supposed to be a compliment. Sam was looking down at the paper, and not at him, so the room didn't feel so scorching hot anymore.

"So, can we talk about your current exercise habits?"

"Well, I walk from my office to the vending machine and then from my office to my car... so that's got to be about a quarter of a mile a week, right?"

"I think I'll circle 'extremely sedentary'"

"Good call."

"So, lets talk about your eating habits. You said you snack at work. Would you call yourself a stress eater?"

"Probably."

"Do you eat when you're depressed or lonely?"

"Jesus, I just wanted a piece of plastic so Castiel would stop calling." Gabriel shook his head.

"Can I put down a 'yes'?" Gabriel gave a nonchalant flick of his wrist and Sam scribbled something down.

"Would you say that you've recently seen an increase in your eating patterns?" Sam asked, his voice was gentle.

"Yes."

"And you've already said that you're a stress eater and -"

"Yes, yes to all of it." Gabriel snapped. "It's no great mystery. I'm getting divorced I'm... I'm divorced. And it's shitty, and she isn't around anymore to eat with me so... yeah. I snack a lot."

"Oh. I'm sorry... Mr..."

"Milton." Gabriel said flatly. "Gabriel Milton, you'll need that for your form."

Sam looked down at the paper on his desk and twirled the pen in his hand nervously.

"I know it's hard to eat three solid meals a day without the person who used to cook for you-"

"Kali, ah, Kali didn't cook and she took quite poorly to any insinuation that she might. She was the go getter of the household, I was the one who cooked. But, you know, cooking for one is pretty …depressing. "

"I get it."

"Yeah. So." Gabriel shrugged, but his shoulders seemed heavier for some reason.

"Ok. I can work with that."

"You'll give me my piece of plastic, then?"

"Yeah, and I'm going to sign you up for three personal training sessions."

"What? Look, kiddo, I don't want-"

"Call me kiddo one more time, Gabe." Sam's voice was warning but his eyes were soft and smiling. "And you're gonna need to be in shape to stand a chance."

Gabriel couldn't help it; he grinned. He cocked his head to the side as he looked over the tiny desk, where Sam seemed too big behind it. Sam looked so damn proud of himself, it was adorable.

"You are a pushy one, aren't you?" Gabriel asked Sam, Sam's smile widened. Dimples, God help him. "Never take no for an answer. You? I like you."

+++++++

There was nothing on TV. Three hundred channels and absolutely zip that could hold his attention.

Nothing worth watching on the flat screen stacked on boxes in his apartment and therefore nothing to do. Everything was still packed, books and movies in cardboard with Kali's handwriting in sharpie. A few towels and clothes made it out, hung up in his empty closet. After a few months, Gabriel had made his place more homey by moving all the boxes to the sides of the bare walls. It made everything less jarring and white.

He did have Kali's old queen mattress from before they were married. It had been tucked away in their attic. At first, it smelled like her, kind of like citrus flowers and that jasmine perfume she once liked.

It wasn't that he missed her, exactly. He missed listening to her move around the house while he laid in bed on the weekend. He missed the clutter of her products on the bathroom counter. He missed being someone's first choice for a dinner companion, to tell good news to, to complain about bad news to. He had been that person to someone and now he wasn't. He didn't really know what that made him now.

The jasmine smell of her perfume didn't make him think of sex with her (which had always been easy and satisfying for him, as she would simply push him onto his back and help herself.) The smell of her perfume reminded him of her lying beside him, listening to him talk about everything that came to his head, listening to her talk about her day. It wasn't a bad smell, but the longer he laid on it, the more it stopped smelling like her and started smelling like him.

It seemed like a terrible premonition for the way the rest of his life was going to be, and he didn't really want to think about that just now.It was just a reminder that he needed to buy his own shit and an actual house because he was too old to be living like a twenty five year old on a mattress on the floor.

Balthazar wasn't answering his text messages.

And after telling himself a thousand times he wouldn't; he texted his brother who was just about to start his yoga session and couldn't talk at the moment.

After telling himself a thousand and one times that he wouldn't; he called her.

"You're supposed to go through the lawyers, Gabriel." Kali's voice said cooly over the phone, and once again, Gabriel was struck with how unfair it was that she got to be the one with her act together.

"C'mon, Kali," Gabriel purred. He imagined her rolling her eyes at him; when they were married, he thought it was her giving in to him, unable to resist his charm, needy and modest as it was. Now his memories were tainted, even the happy ones, with doubt. Perhaps she didn't cave to him because he was irresistible, but because she found him so damn pathetic. "C'mon, that lawyer business is for exes who can't even talk to each other. We're still friends, right?"

Kali made a small grunt that must have been an agreement because she didn't hang up on him.

"How's the new house? How's Pavarti?"

"Fine. Obviously. She doesn't understand why you keep calling"

"Because you keep answering, beautiful."

There was a beat where Kali, no doubt, rolled her eyes again. But this time, he could hear the smile in her tone. That was the trick with Kali. She didn't smile out there in the open for you to see it, you had to really listen for it. You had to earn it. Not everyone did, but Gabriel had.

"You're not being cute."

"I'm being adorable." Gabriel corrected, grinning to himself. His apartment seemed cozier, suddenly, with a voice inside of it, filling it up. "Any news on the adoption front?"

"Of course not. So much stupid litigation. Do you have _any_ idea how many forms you have to fill out to adopt an orphan from India? Maybe it will be easier when she and I finally get married, but this is ridiculous. We're both Indian, and they still find reasons to not give us a child. They might as well say it's because we're both women and be done with it. I swear, this adoption thing is almost not worth it but-"

But.

Pavarti didn't want Kali pregnant because she knew that Gabriel would be at the top of the sperm donor list and Pavarti had been trying to pry Gabriel out of Kali's life since day one. Pavarti didn't want to have a baby that was any part of Gabriel. It was the only thing he and Kali's new girlfriend had ever agreed upon.

Because Gabriel had already said he didn't want kids, and it had been the night that Kali had called a lawyer in the first place.

Silence filled the phone line and Gabriel desperately wanted to hang up. He was constantly doing this, he had always done this; gotten so lonely and stuck in his own head that he called anyone and everyone he could think of. And someone would answer the phone and someone would ask him something too real and he'd suddenly want to hang up and hide back in the loop in his head, undisturbed.

It was why Balthazar finally stopped answering his texts. It was why Castiel always seemed busy when Gabriel called.

"Are you doing ok, Gabriel?" Kali asked softly, and not in the kind of way that could be dismissed. "Don't hang up on me." she said, reading his mind.

And Gabriel realized what he missed, it hit him so hard in the gut that he might have doubled over. He missed someone knowing him, like Kali did.

"I'm a mess." he said. He'd never tell anyone besides her. Not Michael or Lucifer, because they wouldn't understand. Not Castiel, because he'd understand too well. Only Kali, because she was his opposite in all the obvious ways but the same in the biggest one. She was a mirror to his face, and it was harder to lie to himself when she was there.

"I know." Kali said matter of factly. That had always been her particular brand of charm. The way she had been when she first met him. They way she had been when she first let him settle between her warm thighs. The way she was when he proposed. The way she had been when she decided to get divorced. Kali was practical when he had a tendency to despair, and she was always right about those sorts of things. After a moment, she continued. "But you won't be forever."

"I haven't shaved in three days. I might as well grow a beard, right?"

"I cut my hair. It is natural to want to look drastically different after your life becomes drastically different."

"I have to buy toothpaste and I keep on forgetting until I get ready for bed and try to brush my teeth."

"Shopping list, Gabriel. Not rocket science."

"Castiel keeps calling."

"Because he loves you and you're a mess and I bet you called him first."

"I joined a gym. I signed up for some of those personal training sessions, you know?"

That, finally, seemed to throw her.

"Well, I had been telling you to do that since we met. What changed your mind?"

"Well, Castiel suggested it. And you know how Castiel suggests things; with all the subtlety of a hammer and all the righteous persistence of an army of heaven."

"Alright. I see why you went in there. Why are you going back?"

"My trainer's name is Sam."

"Ah, I see." Kali said knowingly, letting out a sigh of relief.

"I haven't even told you about him yet. He's very enthusiastic and... tall."

"Balthazar was tall as well, wasn't he? You do have a type, Gabriel."

"Excuse you, but what do you know? I never chased guys while we were together."

"For someone who spends all day behind a computer, I was surprised that you failed to figure out how to delete your search internet history. I used your computer when you were out once. Let me tell you, looking up how to make 'Ka Bharta' and finding 'kinky tall twink blowjob' as Google's first suggestion is the sort of thing a girl remembers."

"Yeah, well. I had dick needs. And you were too enthusiastic with the strap on."

"Anyway." Kali pressed, "You have a crush. I get it. It's healthy, I suppose."

"It's not a crush it's an... attraction. I don't get crushes."

"Hmm, and that month when you kept showing up in my office with the slimmest of excuses? All those times you needed my 'opinion' on a project I wasn't even involved in. That was just an... attraction?"

"Ok, well, I had a crush on you but... I married you. I love you and shit. I did care about your opinion I still do... but..."

But.

But she wasn't there, because she changed her mind. Suddenly she wanted a baby. Gabriel didn't change at all. She found out that she wanted someone else, something else more than him.

"Be careful, Gabriel. It's fine if it's harmless... just remember that it's his job to be nice to you. It's his job to look at your body and touch it and talk about it and you and everything else. He gets paid to do that. That's how he pays his rent."

"God, Kali, I won't molest the poor kid. He isn't exactly the type to be bent over and taken roughly against his will. Him versus me? Castiel would have to pick my dismembered body up in a trash bag."

"Just be careful that you don't make a fool of yourself. You may be above crushes but those of us without the luxury say and do stupid things when it happens to us. It's his job, Gabriel. Don't embarrass yourself over him."

"Ok, I'm not saying that I do have a crush on him or that I would try anything, because I'm not suicidal but I'm just the teensiest bit insulted that you seem to completely dismiss the fact someone might want me back. I am a charming son of a bitch, you know."

Kali was smiling, he could hear it in her tone, practically laughing. He always felt like the king of the world when he made her laugh. Damn, he had worked hard enough for the privilege.

"Fine. I'm sorry. Forgive me. I understand how someone might fall for your very special allure so I'll correct myself. Be careful until you're sure."

"I'm too old for this conversation, Kali. Too old for crushes and the whole 'do they like me?' dance of it all. You don't need to have this with me. I know you mean well, but I'm not a basket case. I should be insulted that you think I may be."

"The thing is, Gabriel. You keep calling." Kali said kindly. "I love you. Be careful with your heart, Gabriel. You may not know what you've got, but it's a good one."

"Do I ever get to hear about this crush of yours that made you act like a spaz?"

"I would never say the word, 'spaz.'"

"Who could ever make someone like you be stupid, Kali?"

"Just some pushy guy at work once. Kept coming into my office with the stupidest things to say."

"I love you, Kali."

"You too. That's Pavarti. Please, just be reasonable. Don't hurt yourself over there."

+++++++++++

_Too old to be friggen falling for the cute, coy smiles of pretty boys, Gabriel._

That voice in his head was the only line of defense his dignity had, and it had gotten an awful lot softer after Kali told him to take his stuff and leave. Gabriel couldn't even remember what self-respect felt like. He was marching up the stairs to the gym again, three days after Sam hit him with some award winning puppy eyes and the smile of a much indulged child.

Gabriel started to feel unsure of himself as he stepped into the gym, it was more crowded this time, being a more godly hour of the day. It suddenly occurred to him how ridiculous it was going to look, big, young beautiful Sam and perfectly average Gabriel following him about and drooling all over him.

Kali had always been the one, brutally honest, about the way he came off. He'd come downstairs for breakfast and she'd glance up from her green smoothie and tell him to change; his tie was too orange to wear with the navy suit, those shoes were too scuffed to get away with.

It was why he fell in love with her; no one had ever taken him seriously before. He'd been the clown of his school, the good-natured slacker of his family and the playboy of his college. Good for a laugh, Gabriel fell into his role with ease, but when Kali had looked at him, seen through all his bullshit, she'd been the first to see something worthwhile there. She sharpened him, disciplined his post college teeshirts and jeans into fine pressed slacks and suits. She taught him the importance of a cufflink and kept an almost militant level of control over his nail situation. She was hard on him, but she was harder on herself and Gabriel had been flattered that someone so rigid about perfection would let him into her world and, miraculously, into her bed.

He knew that he owed at least one promotion to her demand that he always look crisp and clean, and well read. She was more than beautiful. She was a queen, and he had been privileged to fall at the toes of her Jimmy Choos and worship her. He had loved her, and she had met someone else she loved more.

Without her voice in the back of his head, Gabriel never felt sure of himself. Somehow, Kali had been the one in his life who had told him what to do and how to dress to be a respectable adult and so he'd done it. Now, however, he had the sneaking suspicion that he was an adult, with or without Kali, and it was terrifying and on the verge of being embarrassing all the time because now it was just him out here. Just him in a college teeshirt and a pair of shorts he had to dig out a box from when he was twenty three just... waiting.

"Gabe!" Sam said, rounding the corner. To anyone else, Gabriel would have said something about that whole nickname thing. But Sam looked like a dog at the front door, about to go for a walk, so he just smiled as Sam got closer.

 _Keep it together, Gabriel._ Kali said again, _Don't make a fool of yourself, throwing yourself at him._ Then a little kinder, as she always was when she thought she might have been too harsh, _At least not until you're sure._

Gabriel was following Sam as Sam talked a mile a minute, honest to God bursting with excitement about all the things they were going to be able to do together. He talked about a weight room and Gabriel liked the sound of the Bosu ball but probably not for actual exercise purposes for which it was designed.

They hadn't even made it to the treadmill for Gabriel's 'warm up' before Gabriel was sure.

He was sure he was so, totally in over his fucking, pathetic, thirty-eight year old, cliché divorced head. This was a full blown crush. He was completely sure that this was going to end horribly and embarrassingly for him.

He was absolutely positive that he would keep coming back for more.

++++++++++

It turns out, spending an hour twice a week with someone staring at you is kind of like having a friend. Kali had somehow gotten all of those in the settlement.

"Ok, watch your knees" Sam said, spotting the weight bar with a single finger as he watched Gabriel do his lunges. His legs didn't shake anymore, a testament to just how desperate he was, buying chunks of Sam's time every week for the past four weeks. He still got pink around his neck when Sam stood too close, still felt his breath hitch in his throat when Sam touched him, correcting his form or trying to stretch him out.

Gabriel didn't trust his body to relax, though, his every instinct telling him to go loose and just offer up his whole body for Sam to do whatever he pleased to it. He hoped that Sam just assumed he was the most tense and rigid person that ever walked through his gym.

"So, anyway, there I was, sitting next to my girlfriend and across from my brother for lunch and he just spent the whole meal staring at her chest. Like, in a way that the police might intervene. Forty five minutes. Painful" Sam was saying, watching the line of Gabriel's shoulders where the weight bar rested.

"You're right, your brother story beats mine."

"I think I should get a bonus, somehow. My one brother is worse than your four."

"Fine, you get three extra points. There. Happy?"

"I think you know what will make me happy."

_Please say my tongue in your throat. Please, please._

"One pull-up. With _no whining_ "

Gabriel let out a put-upon sigh. Sam smirked, those dimples making Gabriel's face feel warm. Luckily he was already disgustingly red faced and sweaty.

"Sam, you know that you think I'm so charming when I'm using my skills of negotiation."

"Negotiation my ass." Sam laughed, "More like pouting. It's cute, but ultimately unsuccessful."

_Don't call me cute, Sam. For your own sake and for my shred of self-respect._

But Gabriel felt that little warm tremor down his spine, he turned his face to hide his stupid smile from Sam. The trainer shoved a water bottle into his fist.

"Hydrate first, then pull-up." Sam sat on the weight bench as Gabriel took a drink. He stretched his spine, arching his back like an over grown lion and making a little grunt of pleasure as it popped. Gabriel was thankful that Sam wasn't looking at him, as he had dribbled water down his front at that display.

"You're kind of quiet today." Sam remarked, pulling a long arm across his front to stretch that as well. "Everything alright?"

"Signed the last of the divorce papers today."

"...oh.. I guess that'd do it." Sam said, dropping his hands between his legs, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked up at Gabriel. He opened his mouth and thought better of it, twisting into a sympathetic smile.

"You can ask, if you want." Gabriel said softly, putting the water bottle back with the towel. He wished he hadn't since now he didn't have anything to do with his hands.

"How long were you together?"

"Only about five years. We were only married for three. There were some red flags, going in, but we decided... we decided to fuck it. It's good for you to make a few mistakes in your life. And we were happy then, so we got hitched. We went to India, that's where she's from, so none of my family besides Castiel came. Castiel has never turned down an opportunity for an adventure and his brother's shotgun wedding in Jaipur was just too good to pass up. They weren't exactly nuts about me marrying her. Not the most sympathetic bunch, now that it's coming apart." Gabriel shrugged.

"Well, for what it's worth, I'm sorry." Sam said. Gabriel felt a moment of guilt, because Sam put his arm around his shoulder and Gabriel suddenly wanted to tell Sam every little terrible thing that ever happened in his life, just to get Sam to touch him. "What didn't they like about you two together?"

"It wasn't a race thing, if that's what you're thinking. At least it wasn't for my family. I don't think her family was all that thrilled about her marrying a white dude, but, hey if they had things to say they said them in Hindi and she didn't bother to pass it along. No... the problem was... I'm a little gay. Sometimes."

To his relief, Sam didn't retract his arm in an ultra hetero masculine display of awkward horror.

"They thought I was lying to myself, or whatever. It's hard to explain bi-sexuality. I had only had serious relationships with men before Kali. Well, ok, one serious relationship before her. They were ok with me being straight and they were ok with me being gay, but something about liking both genders makes people think you're lying to yourself half the time."

Sam laughed.

"Yeah, I get that." He shook his head, still smiling. He looked across the gym without seeming to look for anything in particular. Gabriel wondered if Sam knew that his fingers were absently stroking the skin right below the sleeve of his shirt. He wondered if Sam knew how that made his skin break out in needly little gooseflesh, begging for Sam's big warm hands to fall onto his skin and rub them smooth.

Gabriel looked right at him. He said something so softly, it could have been easily mistaken for intimacy.

"You _get_ that?" Gabriel asked. It was half teasing, half a desperate, shaky tremble of hope.

"Yeah, Gabe. I _get_ that." Sam looked at him now, Gabriel, tucked under his massive limb and staring right back at him. Sam's lips quirked as he looked down at him, and Gabriel wanted to close his eyes and savor the feel of Sam's warm breath across his face.

He may never be this close to Sam again, never so casual an occurrence might present itself, so Gabriel needed to memorize every minute of it for later, when he was in his bed and he forgot about how gross and skeevy he was to be buying excuses for Sam to pay attention to him.

He thought that maybe it was time someone diagnosed a bad crush as a treatable mental disease.

Sam looked away, because he was normal and cool and so confident. He was twenty three and gorgeous and smart, why the fuck would Sam look at Gabriel for more than a minute?

Gabriel cleared his throat.

"Anyway. I tried to explain that I had always liked girls but never found one worth the effort. But Kali, damn, she was worth all the effort in the world. No one had ever expected me to try before, but she demanded it. She made me be the best I could be, and I needed it. We had some fun, but she was ready to start a family and... well, kids were never part of my plan.

"She found someone who wanted kids too. Decided to marry them instead."

"Shit, Gabriel. I'm sorry, man."

Gabriel shrugged again.

"She and Pavarti just bought a place in trying to figure out how they're going to do-" Gabriel made a vague gesture with his hands in the air "-that. But it's happening. She'll be a great Mom. God knows, she raised me in the short time she knew me."

Sam was staring at him, and Gabriel didn't dare look at him, because it would be too much. His spank bank would blow up if he got any more memories of Sam's lips five inches from his, or the sort of sweaty, musky smell of Sam's armpit on his shoulder. Gabriel wanted to bury his face in it and smell breathe as deep as his lungs would allow, like some sort of dog, scenting before they mount each other.

"It's impolite to stare, Sam."

"I think it's really nice. How well you're handling it."

Gabriel wanted to laugh. He wasn't _handling_ it at all. He was buying fast food every night and eating it in front of the TV so he wouldn't feel alone in his little apartment. He was still texting Kali, stupid messages asking how she was doing, and how she was settling in in her place with Pavarti in Toronto.

He wasn't in love with Kali anymore. He hadn't been for a little while, but she was his best friend. She was the only one who had ever made him feel... worth something at all. He was lonely, and it was a stupid, humiliating thing to feel at his age.

He was lonely and he was shelling out cash so Sam would talk to him and touch him twice a week, even if it was only small talk and the touch of a finger to correct his position. Gabriel never used to work out, never used to think about exercise because it wasn't like he was going to magically become hot.

He was how he was; average to the nth degree and he was all right with that.

Really, he was. He was past the point in his life when he believed he could do anything, that he could be anyone. It was just a matter of riding it out, at this point. Sam wouldn't get it, because he was still young, could still be whoever he wanted to be. He was beautiful and energetic and so perfect to look at, and whenever Gabriel did let himself look, Sam was usually looking right back at him.

Not with the 'god, touch my dick, please, just for a second' sort of urgency that Gabriel looked at him with, but something much more dangerous. Hope. Sam looked at Gabriel like he was going to get better, like his life was going to get better and Sam was so lucky to be able to help. Poor kid didn't know any better Gabriel didn't know how to get it through Sam's big cro magnon skull. Maybe he didn't even want to.

Because, god, to have Sam looking at him like that made his insides boil. Sam looked at him like he could do anything. He hated to let the guy down.

_I'm a mess, kid. Get the Hell out while you still can._

"Shoot. Sorry, Gabriel. I'm over our hour and I've got a thing this afternoon. Pull ups first thing next time."

"You know, Sammy, I wouldn't mind pull ups so much if you did them too."

Sam turned a little pink around the neck and shook his head, grinning. Gabriel had done that. He could do anything.

"Millennium." he blurted.

Sam raised his eyebrows.

"That, that restaurant in the city. You're vegetarian, right? That's what they... do. Do you want... sometime?"

_Smooth, Gabriel. Your thirty eight years on earth were clearly put to good use._

"Um, flexitarian. But..." Sam nervously looked over his shoulder. Gabriel could literally crawl into the earth and die. But he said things and did things that other people wouldn't. This had to be the value in that. He took a bracing breath.

"Well, I had just heard some good reviews and I don't know any other vegetarians. Or, flexitarians. Or anything like that. I thought... maybe... you'd want to go. Sometime. With me."

Sam chewed his lip and shifted the weight on his feet. He looked over his shoulder again.

Gabriel braced himself for the inevitable blow. He had always hated the gym anyway, never meant for it to go this far. He had bought his plastic card, enough to get Castiel off his back.

That was what he wanted the whole time. Right?

Maybe he would buy an entire bottle of wine and drink it alone in front of a marathon of Real Housewives before drunkenly calling Balthazar. Depending on if he got 'horny drunk' or 'what-am-I-doing-with-my-life-drunk,' maybe he'd pull out the box from his closet, with colorful dildos and colorless DVDs of men taking each other.

Everything a guy like Gabriel needed to be all by himself. He should stop being surprised and just get used to it already.

Sam was still thinking, and Gabriel was getting close to letting the poor guy off the hook.

"Yeah. Ok. Look..." Sam glanced over his shoulder again. He pulled out his business card, the one he had given Gabriel when he signed for his classes. It just said 'Sam' on the front with his extension for the gym phone line. The paper was shiny and metallic with the generic gym logo on the corner. Taking a pen, he scribbled something on the back of the card. Gabriel saw a digit. His heart jumped into his throat and stayed there. "I'm not actually allowed to give you my number, it's like a corporate thing, but here."

Gabriel took the paper and Sam just smiled stiffly before three men and a trainer in the same red sweat wick polo Sam wore came into the weight room. Sam patted Gabriel on the shoulder as he passed him, heading to the employee changing room.

Gabriel just watched him go, all the while trying to figure out exactly what just happened.

++++++++++

"What do you want?"

"Hello, Pavarti, love, how are you doing this fine winter afternoon? How's work? The parents?"

"No one thinks you're funny, Gabriel."

"We'll have to agree to disagree on that one. We can add it to our list; along with reactions to 'The Office' and opinions on the Iraqi War. Now, pass me to your betrothed."

"Wife. She's my wife, Gabriel. And I'm hers. We went to the courthouse this afternoon, and while we do have to wait about six weeks for the certificate-"

"Wait... what?"

"She and I, got in my car and drove to the courthouse and a very nice judge married us at eleven this morning. She's my wife, and you need to start respecting our boundaries."

"Let me talk to her."

"Gabriel, I'll have her call you back. You don't have the right, anymore, to call her whenever you feel like it."

"She was my wife first."

"You know what Gab-" Pavarti's voice was cut short as he heard a door slam in the back ground. _"Is that my phone?"_ Kali. Gabriel grinned triumphantly, and only felt a loss that he could see Pavarti's face. _"Who is it?"_ Kali asked, but she must have been able to guess.

"Gabriel." she said clearly, having taken the receiver from her wife.

"Well, I suppose that congratulations are in order. Or is it best wishes. Who knows what's appropriate in this sort of situation?"

"Don't talk to me like that."

"Like what? I'm really curious."

"No, you're doing that thing you do when it all just gets a little too real and you make fun of everyone around you before they have a chance to see that they hurt your feelings. Don't talk to me like that, Gabriel."

"Oh, you know me so damn well, do you? You have no idea who I am."

"Neither do you, so get off your high horse. What the hell do you even want, Gabriel? The last year of our marriage, you could barely even look at me. We were hardly talking and when I brought up... when I brought it up you just shut me out. Ran off on me and replaced my husband with a stranger. Some sort of witness protection program in my own house. And I finally, finally start to get over you and then you show up like we're old friends. Like you didn't break my fucking heart."

" _You_ left _me_."

"No, Gabriel. I was there the whole time, you were the one who got distant, stopped talking to me. You were there, Gabriel, in our bed and in our house, but your head was somewhere else and it was lonely. I divorced you, but you left before it came to that."

"Kali, I'm..." Gabriel didn't have a joke for that one.

"Kali, I'm sorry."

"I'm over it, Gabriel. I really am, I'm not mad or hurt or anything besides sad for you. It must be so lonely up there, in your own head."

"I do love you."

"Not enough... not enough to give me the only thing I wanted." Kali sighed, "And I'm over it, Gabriel. I wish you were over it too. She really wants you to stop calling. She thinks you're still in love with me."

"I'm just sentimental."

"Pathetic." Kali corrected, but she was smiling, he could hear it. "I love her, Gabriel. One day she's going to make me choose. I'm not going to choose you."

Gabriel sat down on Kali's mattress. A tuft of air and fabric was expunged into the air, and it no longer smelt like jasmine perfume. It smelt like Gabriel's laundry detergent.

"I loved you first." he argued weakly.

"That's not how it works." Kali sighed and Gabriel could feel himself losing her attention; finally losing her. "I hope you get whatever it is that you want, Gabriel. I just have no idea what that is."

"Yeah. Me neither."

++++++++++

Sam was late.

There was that little voice in the back of his head that sounded like Balthazar, accent and everything, asking him what he expected. He asked a handsome man half his age out on a date, a handsome man he employed, out on a date. Of course Sam would _say_ yes.

Gabriel had every intention of waiting; but if he was getting stood up, he was getting drunk and the judgmental voices of his exes in his head could can it. He ordered a bottle of Pinot Noir from the waiter that walked closest to him next.

"Uh, Gabe, I'm so sorry I'm late." Gabriel whipped his head around to see Sam, looking even more inappropriately large than usual in the restaurant. He had was wearing a sage green button down shirt and black pants and it took Gabriel a moment to realize how different Sam looked out of his uniform. He looked very, very young to Gabriel. The kind of young that was verging away from sexy to creepy. He had a sudden - blood freezing thought - that maybe Sam wasn't even old enough to share the bottle of wine with him. Sam stood shyly, and then tentatively sat at the table across from him.

"No worries, kiddo. I went ahead and made myself comfortable. Can I pour you a glass of Pinot Noir?"

"Um, yeah, sure." Sam said. He took the glass Gabriel offered him and took a timid sip before putting the wine glass back on the table.

Gabriel was about to blow past his nerves and chatter. If there was one thing Gabriel was good at, it was chatter. Talking fast and cleverly, so that an hour disappeared without actually saying anything at all. It put whoever he was with at ease and filled his own mind with white noise. But Sam started talking before he got a chance.

"I need to tell you something," Sam said abruptly just as Gabriel opened his mouth to say something witty about the cross town traffic. Gabriel snapped his mouth shut and tilted his head for Sam to continue. "I don't... I don't usually date clients. I've... I've never dated a client. So. That's what that is."

Gabriel settled back into his chair and raised an eyebrow.

"Is this a date?"

Sam gave him a 'no-duh' expression as he looked around the restaurant. The walls were bordered by a faux marble finish, and all the waiters wore ties and shined shoes. There were cloth napkins and two forks. It was hardly a place where two bros could have a totally platonic dinner.

"I know you may think I'm just a dumb hamster on a wheel, but I see you blush every time I get too close. You know, you shiver when I touch you, right?" Sam shook his head, "You're not the first client who has had a crush on me. Or the first one who asked me out."

"I see."

"Good. That's...cleared up."

"So, are you leaving?"

"Only if you want me to."

"I don't want you to."

"Okay."

"Okay, then." Gabriel took a very long gulp of his wine. Things were going better than his wildest dreams and that was an awful lot of pressure. "Do you mind if I ask why?"

"Why am I here with you when I said 'no' to everyone else who asked? A few reasons; the first one is that you hate the gym. You would have stopped showing up whether I said 'no' or said 'yes' and it ended terribly, so I wasn't exactly worried about losing a client since I'd have lost you either way. Second, I really have always wanted to go to this restaurant and third... work relationships are messy. It's a lot of work."

"So, you went out with me because I offered to buy you a nice dinner and you weren't afraid of what I might do if it didn't work out."

If Sam wanted a sugar daddy, Gabriel could be a sugar daddy. If Sam wanted a fucking astronaut, Gabriel would be applying at NASA before the night was over.

"Yes, but you forgot the third one." Sam said, smirking slightly, "Work relationships are... work. And I've never met someone worth the effort before."

A waiter walked to their table with his pen out, ready to take their order.

"Yes, I think we'll start with the braised Brussels sprouts and why don't you bring my... friend... here a beer. Bottled and imported is fine."

The waiter gave a nod and went to get Sam his drink.

"How did you know I wanted a beer?"

"Because that is a damn fine bottle of wine, the least offensive one I could order. You don't like it, you don't like wine, period."

"I'm trying not to be too impressed, over here." Sam said, "But I don't really know anything about wine. My Dad was a whiskey sort of guy and there isn't exactly a lot of sophistication with the whole college set. Mostly vodka and mixers."

"Are you in college?"

"Yeah, law school. First year. Stanford."

"I'm trying not to be too impressed over here."

"Well, thanks, but I'm only doing classes part time, right now."

"Why law school?" Gabriel asked, taking a sip of wine as the waiter brought and poured Sam's beer for him.

"Well, I guess you could say I grew up with a lot of chaos in my life. I like that the law is black and white. I like helping people." Sam shrugged and speared a brussels sprout with his fork. "What do you do, exactly?"

"Finance things. It's all very boring."

"... then why do you do it?"

And again, Gabriel was struck with how young Sam was. Or, perhaps, how old he was.

Because he had asked those questions once as well. Why do a job you find boring? Why let your brothers outshine you without your permission? Why not ask a beautiful boy out on a date if only because you feel like bursting with all the life and energy in the world when he smiles?

When had Gabriel become this person who held himself back from a new house, without Kali's things but his own? When had Gabriel become the kind of man who needed someone who knew him to tell him what he wanted? When did he become the sort of man who wanted to be known at all?

How had Gabriel come to this point, where every moment he looked across the table at a perfectly want-able and lovable person, his first instinct was to wonder how long it would last. How had he become someone who was comfortable? He used to be the kind of man who took what he wanted.

When did he become afraid to want?

"I don't know, kiddo. It just snuck up on me."

"Maybe you should do something else, then."

Gabriel took a slow sip of wine as he thought about that. "Maybe." He agreed.

++++++++++

"Well, I had a good time." Sam said as they stepped out of the restaurant. "Thank you. For dinner."

"No problem, Sam." Gabriel said, and they stood in front of the valet parking. It was a chilled night, so Gabriel stepped into Sam's space, and Gabriel noticed, Sam shifted his weight to let Gabriel in.

Gabriel handed the valet his ticket. He glanced over at Sam's empty hands.

"Did you street park?"

"No... I took the train."

"You took the train from Stanford? Isn't that like, forty minutes?"

Sam shrugged again. Gabriel tutted and took his keys as the valet pulled up.

"Get in, I'm taking you home. You're too pretty to ride the train at night."

"You really don't have to do this, I live so far away." Sam said, even as he gratefully accepted the ride and was buckling his seatbelt, sighing in relief as he got into warm the car.

"Nah, you'll be doing me a favor. Now you're stuck with me for an hour as we go to Palo Alto."

"It's nice, then." Sam decided. They pulled up to a red light. Gabriel didn't see Sam unbuckle his seatbelt. "I didn't really want to go home yet."

Gabriel got about a moment's warning before big, moose sized Sam was leaning across the car and kissing his jawline. Gabriel keened and was, luckily, always very quick on his feet.

He turned his head and let Sam capture his lips,sucking them to the point where it was almost painful but still, not anywhere near enough. Sam parted his lips, tracing his tongue around Gabriel's lower lip and teasing into his mouth, between his teeth.

Gabriel gasped, letting his hands slide off of the steering wheel and into Sam's hair, holding on for dear life as Sam took his lip, his mouth and made it his own. Sam liked to use teeth and Gabriel certainly had no problems with that.

Gabriel let his hand fall from Sam's hair to his neck, tracing his ear.

A car horn behind them honked and Gabriel jumped, shifting his car into gear and pulling forward through the, now green, intersection.

"Jesus" Gabriel sighed, unconsciously running his fingers over his lips. Sam laughed.

"Jesus," he echoed.

"My place is closer." Gabriel said softly. Sam just nodded, his long fingers tracing his lips, feeling the ghost of their kiss.

++++++++++

Sam followed Gabriel up the stairs to his new apartment, close, but not touching. Gabriel was distracted by the hairs on the back of his neck, buzzing with the hope that Sam might graze his lips there. He was so distracted that he didn't think until he got to the front door of his place.

"I need to give you a heads up," Gabriel said, and when he turned to face Sam, he regretted his decision, since Sam was centimeters from him, close enough to kiss. Close enough to fuck.

God, it was like Gabriel was living in a dream.

"I need to warn you... I haven't gone... since she left. Shopping. I haven't... done. With anybody..."

"Are you saying you haven't gone shopping since you got divorced or you haven't slept with anyone since then?" Sam asked, genuine concern working through the hazy lust on his features.

"Um, both, I guess."

"Is it... a thing? Do you want to... stop? We can, you know. I can just go home if you aren't ready."

"Oh, no, nothing like that." Gabriel breathed.

"Thank Christ." Sam rasped and shoved into Gabriel again, this time sliding his tongue into Gabriel's pathetically submissive mouth. Gabriel would literally take anything Sam wanted to do to his body. He moaned in the back of throat and opened his mouth wider, giving Sam more land to seize and make his own.

After a moment, Gabriel opened his thighs as well, and Sam didn't miss a beat before he was between them, rolling his hips into Gabriel's, pressing him hard into the wall. Gabriel couldn't imagine any place he'd rather be.

"mmmmm... inside... take me inside." Sam murmured against his lips. Gabriel felt around the door behind him. Turning the knob and trusting Sam to not let him go toppling backwards. He wasn't disappointed, Sam's arms wrapped around Gabriel so tight Gabriel didn't have to think or move, just let himself be guided.

"Oh... whoa." Sam muttered. When Gabriel looked up, he was a bit disheartened to see Sam staring around his blank apartment. It wasn't a bad place, it wasn't even supposed to be as temporary as it looked. But he hadn't unpacked yet, the only decorations and furniture besides the T.V and the mattress in the living room were boxes. "You, ah, you weren't kidding."

Gabriel licked his lips as Sam stepped away from him. He felt Sam's new distance like a splash of cold water, and he crossed his arms over his chest to protect himself from the chill. Sam stuck his head into the pristine kitchen, completely unused besides the microwave.

"How long have you been here?" Sam asked.

"Since we sold the house... Kali was moving to Canada and all, so she wanted to liquidate our assets. She wanted her half of the cash. There was a lot of cash in that house."

"When did you sell the house?"

"June."

"Six months? You've been living like this for six months?"

Gabriel shrugged and looked away from Sam.

"Was this what you were trying to warn me about? I don't care Gabriel... it's just."

"You can say it, Sam, it's alright." Gabriel said softly. "I'm a loser. Go ahead. I'm thirty fucking eight years old and I live on a mattress on the floor. All my stuff is still in boxes. I was a shitty husband, when I was married. Now I'm alone. I'm a total mess, Sam. I'm a loser."

"You're not a loser."

"How can you say that? You're so..." Gabriel gestured at him. Beautiful. Kind. Smart- fucking smart as hell. And here he was in Gabriel's apartment that might as well had a transient living in there for all the homeliness of it.

"Gabriel. I grew up in motel rooms. At least once a year, my brother and my father and I slept in our car. I didn't eat a home cooked meal until I was twelve and a girl brought me home to meet her parents. This-" Sam waved his arm at the pile of boxes by the bedroom door. "is concerning, I'll give you that, but you're not a loser, Gabriel. You're just a little lost."

"The fuck kind of childhood did you have?"

"The messy and concerning kind. But I'm fine now. And... I know how it is to feel lost. I really, really _get_ that."

"Sam... I..."

"I know. Me too."

"I thought you were supposed to be the kid, here. I'm a grown ass man. The older I get the more I realize that doesn't really mean jack." Gabriel smiled to himself. "How did you even get here?" Gabriel wondered at him.

"I am here. So let's make the most of it." Sam said, and Gabriel would have said something about cheesy lines, but Sam was kissing him again.

Gentler, this time, but with a more obvious purpose. Gabriel felt himself being pressed backwards, onto the mattress, Sam wedging himself between his thighs again. Gabriel opened up to him, happily. He lifted his hands and placed them on Sam's waist, sliding them up to Sam's back then lower down his spine. Then lower still, until he threw caution to the wind and grabbed Sam's ass, pressing it into his body. Sam groaned and held his hips against Gabriel's again and again, each time, Gabriel bucked up to meet him.

"God, feels so damn good." Sam sighed and Gabriel pulled his head back down to kiss him again. Sam shoved his tongue into Gabriel's mouth, licking the fillings out of his teeth while Gabriel's hands slid under Sam's polyester blend shirt to the smooth expanse of chest beneath. Sam's back arched into the contact.

"Take it off." Gabriel pleaded and his mouth went dry as Sam sat up to his massive height to obey.

"You too." Sam murmured as he threw his own shirt to the side. But Sam didn't wait for Gabriel to wrestle his own shirt off, coping with the very welcome challenge of Sam's weight locking him to the bed. Sam shoved his hands under Gabriel's shirt and started pulling it off, only waiting for Gabriel to sit up enough to take it fully off.

A clumsy hand slotted itself between their crotches and Sam stroked his thumb over Gabriel's half-mast cock. Gabriel shuddered, so Sam did it again.

"Gabe?"

"Yeah?"

"I've never been with a guy before." Sam said. He rubbed Gabriel's dick again, so any doubt Gabriel might have had died as it warred with a moan on his lips.

"Ok, it's easier, trust me. More intuitive, just think about what you like. Sam, I swear, anything you do to me, I'll love. Just touch me. Anywhere. Everywhere."

Sam's hands were at his fly so Gabriel shut up and pulled himself up to sit on his elbows and watch because, fuck yes, he was going to want to see this. Sam slid Gabriel's pants and boxers down in one pull, staring at Gabriel's cock as he waited for the older man to kick off his shoes.

"It curves." he said softly, and Gabriel laughed at the sound of awe in the kid's voice.

Sam touched him, wrapped his hand around the curved dick and stroked. Gabriel was in heaven and he was never going back.

"Good. God, good, fuck, yes."

"I know how to do this." Sam said, still stroking him. "I was worried about the other thing."

Sam lowered his mouth onto him and the wet heat would have made anyone's head explode. Gabriel just made a loud, undignified cry from the back of his throat as he fisted a hand in Sam's hair. Sam's tongue probed him, mapped him out and tasted his cock all over.

After a moment, Sam started to bob his head and Gabriel officially lost it.

"So fucking beautiful. Wanted your lips on me for fucking ever. God, yes, God yes. Don't stop. Like that, oh, damn, like that. There. Oh-"

Gabriel pushed Sam's head off of him as he started to come, letting it fall across his stomach and thighs as Sam, red, swollen lipped Sam, watched with the smuggest look on his face.

Gabriel fought the happy, sleepy daze off of himself and leaned forward, pressing Sam onto his back.

"Don't get too cocky, kiddo. I'll show you how it's done." Gabriel said before he slid his lips down onto Sam's dick.

And then Sam probably woke the neighbors as Gabriel made good on his promise.

++++++++++

Gabriel woke to the sound of someone moving around his apartment. He opened one bleary eye to see a gloriously naked Sam in his kitchen.

"Get back to bed, I've forgotten what your cock tastes like." Gabriel called from across the apartment. Sam spun around and grinned as he saw Gabriel awake and equally naked on the bed.

"I was going to make coffee." Sam said even as he abandoned said task and climbed back onto the mattress. It smelled like the musky sweet smell of balls and come and Sam and sweat. It was the best, most welcome smell in the world. Sam anchored himself over Gabriel. "But you don't have any coffee."

"Nope, there's a diner down the block, we can go together, if you want."

"Do you want me to go get coffee with you? What do you want, Gabriel?"

Gabriel smiled.

"I'm not quite sure. I think I want to paint the walls of this place. I think I want a new job. I want this place to feel like my home; I want to unpack and I want to spread out. I want to know what it looks like without Kali, what it looks like with just me." Gabriel reached up and tucked a piece of Sam's sandy hair behind his ear. "But I certainly do want breakfast. And I'm sure that I want to see you again."

Sam smiled at that. Then they got out of bed. And they got breakfast.

And they did see each other, lots and lots of each other, again.

**Author's Note:**

> A few parting notes:
> 
> The first is that "No Ifs Ands or Butts!" is a Richard Simmons fitness VHS from 1997, in case you were wondering what kind of person I am.
> 
> The other is that I desperately need a Beta. I have a multi-chap Sabriel in the works that needs someone besides my own input. PM me if you're interested.
> 
> P.S. I'm always happy to Beta for a Beta.


End file.
